So I was incredibly stressed all weekend about the baby. Darion and I weren't able to go to urgent care on Saturday night because we went to San Diego for a game night, and while the game night was fun, I spent most of the evening feeling really stressed out.
Darion and I got home around 2 in the morning Saturday, and didn't wake up until about 11:30 on Sunday morning. I decided to call the hospital and ask what the urgent care hours were. I expected them not to open until 4:30, because in December when we had our miscarriage, that was when they opened.
Well, when I called they said they opened at 1:30, so Darion and I decided it would be best if we drove down there just to see what they had to say. I wasn't expecting much because of how horrible last time went.
We got to the hospital and checked in, and we were immediately greeted by a warm receptionist who checked us in early, and then a nurse a few minutes later who was incredibly nice and took my vitals. At 1:30, the doctors returned, so we only waited about 20 minutes to see the doctor.
The doctor walked in and was kind of insensitive. I asked the question, "Is it possible that my pregnancy would disappear and I'd still be pregnant?" And he responded with, "Well, that is a very tell-tale sign of miscarriage."
It seemed like every response condemned us to a miscarriage. We did not get a good vibe. He was nice enough, but had absolutely no sensitivity and seemed really new to the scene. He tried to listen for a heartbeat on a crude old device, but wound up not being able to find anything. At this point, Darion and I were gearing up for the worst. He scheduled an HCG blood test to help our midwife in the future, and then scheduled us a sonogram for 3 pm.
We headed down and got my blood drawn, and the lady was super nice. It was a refreshing change to deal with people who were so nice, considering how horrible last time was.
We then headed to our sonogram. We only had to wait about ten minutes, but by now, Darion and I both were freaking out. I'm pretty sure the woman who did our sonogram was the same one who did it last time.
She set everything up, and started the sonogram. She told us, "Oh yeah, I see your baby." She took a while moving around, taking snapshots of every angle. Then she said she needed to the transvaginal ultrasound, so she gave me a minute to change. While we were waiting for her to come back, Darion and I had a chance to talk.
I told him I wanted to ask her if she was going to be looking for a heartbeat. We know there's a baby in there, but is it alive? After two hours of not being told anything, and the ultrasound tech not reassuring us, I had started to shut down. I saw all my plans for the next 50 years disappearing. My life was about to change when she walked back in the door. I had pretty much decided it was over, and I couldn't understand why we would have to go through this again.
So when she came back in, after a minute, I asked her, and she responded by saying, "Oh yeah, I found the heartbeat. I wouldn't have said I saw your baby if there wasn't a heartbeat!"
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
I started bawling my eyes out! She said to stop it, I was going to make her cry, haha! In a matter of moments I went from believing my child was no longer alive to having absolute confirmation that my baby was still growing inside me. I couldn't believe it.
My whole life came flooding back in to focus. All the plans we'd made were restored, I couldn't have been more excited.
She had to spend some time taking more pictures, and Darion said the baby was moving.
At the end, she showed me the monitor, and I saw my baby! It actually looked like a little baby. It had two little arms and a little head. I could see its heart beating nice and strong. I was jealous that I wasn't getting to see it move. I kept looking for some tiny movement, but nothing was happening.
Then all of a sudden, the baby arched its little back and stretched out! It was the most precious thing I've ever seen in my life. All at once, I fell in love with this baby. I realized I'd been trying not to get too attached in case anything happened. But I couldn't help but love this tiny little baby moving around in me. It was the most amazing experience of my life so far. I couldn't control my crying. I was overwhelmed.
So all this to say, our baby is still healthy and developing exactly right, 9 weeks 4 days (well it'd be 6 days now!).
We are feeling incredibly blessed, and I'm so excited and feeling more confident than ever.
To all those who were praying for us, thank you so much. By our prayers combined, God obviously thought there was something valid in them!! :]
I am so excited to see my little baby again at my next appointment on August 9. God is good, and I am so happy to still have this precious little blessing in my life.
I'm so happy to read this news Cyndi! This post actually made me tear up for you. So glad that all is well & baby is right on track. =)
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